Credibility
Credibility, a small but powerful word.
Two ways people take back what they said/did:
1) They say/do something, take it back, saying that it was rubbish, and they didnt know what they said/were doing cause they were tired/sleepy, or other excuses.
We'll start by assuming that these assumptions are true firstly (though they might not be):
i)They really didnt know what they were saying,
ii)That when you're tired, your brain "is not working", your defences down: rubbish comes out instead of truth.
( Personally, i'd say truth? Based on the logic when you're tired, you've no energy to invent falsehoods and when defences are down your brain doesnt prevent you quick enough from saying something that you normally wouldn't due to prudence/fear of vulnerability.
The only way something could come out "rubbish", is when you have an idea in mind, but dont express it in the right way because of tired/sleepiness, which leads to "rubbish"").
2) They say something, fully aware of what they're doing, and then take it back after regretting, claiming (1). This implies a whole lot more issues here, that i'm not willing to go into..deception, gross irresponsibililty etc.
No matter (1), or (2). The important thing is to take responsibillity for your words/ actions. That starts with being mindful of what you say/do. If despite that, you do end up saying/doing something later unwanted...
Recognize and accept that you have caused the consequences, and do the right thing from there, Don't try to oblivate what you did by avoiding or taking back the consequences of what your words/actions have done and trying to convince yourself/others that there were no consequences in the first place just because you didnt mean what you did/said. Especially by trying to convince the person of what the person is thinking/feeling, in response to your words/actions. This applies in general. Never assume you know how a person is feeling/thinking or worse still, try and convince them how they are feeling/thinking. Especially if the motive is just for helping you alleviate the ripples that you've caused.
In general, if you are objective and rational enough, you can tell them how they should feel or/ react, to, say , a given situation. But not how they are feeling. Firstly, not being in their shoes, we've no right, and secondly, are we some shrink??? " You are getting sleepy..sleepy.."
Empathy is different from brain-washing.
I.e., I try to convince you that you're not hurting though i just whacked you on the head with a hammer.
If what you said/did was wrong, admit it. And repair the mistake if possible, via appropriate measures. If what you said was right, truth. Then there's no need to take back anything. But truth, once spoken, has its consequences too.
Most of the time, you only dont know what you're doing to a certain extent. If you're sleepy, and start making out with someone w/o knowing what you're doing, fine. But dont tell me there doesnt come a point of time when your mind clears and you realise what you're doing. Then, if you do choose, and i say "choose", to carry on then after, don't turn back and say you didnt mean that. Granted, initiallly you might not have known what you were doing, but in the end, you sure did. If you realize what you're doing and choose to stop, good. But you still have to take responsibility for what you did, even if you didnt have any idea of what you were doing, and only realised when you were told by another the next day.
Another more subtle example. You and I are good friends. One day, out of nowhere, I start msging you things that make you doubt how exactly i feel towards you. Things that make you unsure of where I'm coming from. You get confused because what i say shakes you. Worse still, you start having problems with your partner. Maybe you even break up. You come and talk to me about it, and I tell you that that was just how i felt then and i don't feel the same now. Or that i just wanted to express how i feel, i didn't really want or expect anything, but was just being spontaneous... What's that? What then?
Spontaneous expression of feelings/thoughts/actions is beautiful, definitely. It can be associated with joy, a different mindset from the masses, an openess rare nowadays. I'm a big fan of spontaenity. It is also a fact that people's feelings/thoughts change with passing time and moments, leading to a certain degree of un-reliability. All that, combined with the unavoidable fact that, like it or not, our speech/actions not only impacts ourselves, but also others, leads to the conclusion that... Spontaneity should be responsiblity applied.
(={ kinda oxymoronic )
In the end, it all boils down to future credibility. Want to make an positive impact in the lives of others? It all starts with
Credibillity: a small but powerful word.
Two ways people take back what they said/did:
1) They say/do something, take it back, saying that it was rubbish, and they didnt know what they said/were doing cause they were tired/sleepy, or other excuses.
We'll start by assuming that these assumptions are true firstly (though they might not be):
i)They really didnt know what they were saying,
ii)That when you're tired, your brain "is not working", your defences down: rubbish comes out instead of truth.
( Personally, i'd say truth? Based on the logic when you're tired, you've no energy to invent falsehoods and when defences are down your brain doesnt prevent you quick enough from saying something that you normally wouldn't due to prudence/fear of vulnerability.
The only way something could come out "rubbish", is when you have an idea in mind, but dont express it in the right way because of tired/sleepiness, which leads to "rubbish"").
2) They say something, fully aware of what they're doing, and then take it back after regretting, claiming (1). This implies a whole lot more issues here, that i'm not willing to go into..deception, gross irresponsibililty etc.
No matter (1), or (2). The important thing is to take responsibillity for your words/ actions. That starts with being mindful of what you say/do. If despite that, you do end up saying/doing something later unwanted...
Recognize and accept that you have caused the consequences, and do the right thing from there, Don't try to oblivate what you did by avoiding or taking back the consequences of what your words/actions have done and trying to convince yourself/others that there were no consequences in the first place just because you didnt mean what you did/said. Especially by trying to convince the person of what the person is thinking/feeling, in response to your words/actions. This applies in general. Never assume you know how a person is feeling/thinking or worse still, try and convince them how they are feeling/thinking. Especially if the motive is just for helping you alleviate the ripples that you've caused.
In general, if you are objective and rational enough, you can tell them how they should feel or/ react, to, say , a given situation. But not how they are feeling. Firstly, not being in their shoes, we've no right, and secondly, are we some shrink??? " You are getting sleepy..sleepy.."
Empathy is different from brain-washing.
I.e., I try to convince you that you're not hurting though i just whacked you on the head with a hammer.
If what you said/did was wrong, admit it. And repair the mistake if possible, via appropriate measures. If what you said was right, truth. Then there's no need to take back anything. But truth, once spoken, has its consequences too.
Most of the time, you only dont know what you're doing to a certain extent. If you're sleepy, and start making out with someone w/o knowing what you're doing, fine. But dont tell me there doesnt come a point of time when your mind clears and you realise what you're doing. Then, if you do choose, and i say "choose", to carry on then after, don't turn back and say you didnt mean that. Granted, initiallly you might not have known what you were doing, but in the end, you sure did. If you realize what you're doing and choose to stop, good. But you still have to take responsibility for what you did, even if you didnt have any idea of what you were doing, and only realised when you were told by another the next day.
Another more subtle example. You and I are good friends. One day, out of nowhere, I start msging you things that make you doubt how exactly i feel towards you. Things that make you unsure of where I'm coming from. You get confused because what i say shakes you. Worse still, you start having problems with your partner. Maybe you even break up. You come and talk to me about it, and I tell you that that was just how i felt then and i don't feel the same now. Or that i just wanted to express how i feel, i didn't really want or expect anything, but was just being spontaneous... What's that? What then?
Spontaneous expression of feelings/thoughts/actions is beautiful, definitely. It can be associated with joy, a different mindset from the masses, an openess rare nowadays. I'm a big fan of spontaenity. It is also a fact that people's feelings/thoughts change with passing time and moments, leading to a certain degree of un-reliability. All that, combined with the unavoidable fact that, like it or not, our speech/actions not only impacts ourselves, but also others, leads to the conclusion that... Spontaneity should be responsiblity applied.
(={ kinda oxymoronic )
In the end, it all boils down to future credibility. Want to make an positive impact in the lives of others? It all starts with
Credibillity: a small but powerful word.
posted by pacman | 11:21 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home