Murphy's love laws... (Yes i admit i stole this from someone's blog, to the person (who i won't name in case they dont like it)..thank you very much for this insighful piece.)
Murphy's love laws:
All the good ones are taken.If the person isn't taken, there's a reason.
The nicer someone is, the farther away (s)he is from you.
Brains x Beauty x Availability = Constant.This constant is always zero.
The amount of love someone feels for you is inversely proportional to how much you love them.
Money can't buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position.
The best things in the world are free --- and worth every penny of it.
Every kind action has a not-so-kind reaction.
Nice guys (girls) finish last.
The good ones die first.
If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.
Availability is a function of time. The minute you get interested is the minute they find someone else.
The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.
Nothing improves with age.
Sex has no calories.
Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.
Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.
A man in the house is worth two in the street.
If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
Virginity can be cured.
When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.
Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later.
Sex is dirty only if it's done right.
It is always the wrong time of month.
The best way to hold a man is in your arms.
When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.
Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.
Sow your wild oats on Saturday night -- Then on Sunday pray for crop failure.
The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.
It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.
Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.
Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.
There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it.
Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.
Love is a hole in the heart.
Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.
Do it only with the best.
Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.
One good turn gets most of the blankets.
You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
Never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you.
Never argue with a women when she's tired -- or rested.
Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.
Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.
Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
An ex-wife/husband will always be "till death do us part".
When a man wants his wife to hear, she doesn't listen.When that same man doesn't want his wife to hear, she's all ears.
It's always easier to get a partner if you already have one.
If you're heart is broken, sweep up the pieces. There will always be someone who will want to put it back together.
The man shalt not win the argument he started
The man shalt not win the argument he didn't start
If a man won an argument, it was just in his head
A love will tell you they love you endlessly.
A true love will tell everyone else they love you endlessly despite the embarrassment factor.
When all else fails, have hope.
A cauliflower resembles a rose, if your eyesight is not 6/6.
Sex on the TV can't hurt you unless you fall off.
The ABC rule:If A is attracted to B, and you are attracted to C, A has a better chance with B than you do with C.B and C are often the same person.
If you're having difficulties choosing between potential two girls, you'll always pick the wrong one.
If it seems perfect today, tomorrow it will end.
Love is blind. Marriage is an eye opener
Being honest with someone will always turn that person into an enemy.
When you're girlfriend says that you have to talk the relationship is over.
The day you decide to tell you're girlfriend you could not live without her she will leave you the next day.
You're best friend stop being you're best friend the instant a beautiful woman walks in and you both are attracted to her.
The more you want a women the least she will want you.When she says: "Don't buy me anything expensive" and you listen, expect to be single.
Even the most beautiful woman in the world has at least one guy who is tired of her.
The mother of the man, or the father of the woman you love will invariably hate you.
The best men (or women) are always taken--or crazy.
When you take your time getting ready your date will arrive 20 min. early; when you're on time they're 30 min. late.
A good women/men are like parking spots, all the good ones are taken.
Women are like boats: they require constant maintenance and attention, and they cost a lot of money.
Men are like buses: another one will eventually come along.
Beauty is directly proportional to the number of drinks consumed.
Cute now equal annoying later.
You don't pay for sex, you pay him/her to leave after you're done.
Beaches law:If you think a girl is beautiful, her boyfriend will always be there to confirm it.
Seduction law:Your seduction potential is inversely proportional to your willingness to seduce
Everyone believe in love, but wonder if it exists
The sexier a man is, the better the chances that he is gay
Even when a man is listening, he's gonna get it wrong.
The person you want the most will end up with the person you hate the most.
